Lists! Villain Edition!

Who likes to make lists?

I do.

I came across this post yesterday, courtesy of Sierra Godfrey, who I like for her ultra-mad list-making skills.  In the post, Ms. Sokoloff talks about using lists to help unclog your writer's block.  She suggests, for example, making a list of your top ten favorite opening paragraphs, if you're struggling with your beginning.  Or listing your top ten heroes.  You get the idea.

When you have your list, you can analyze the patterns that emerge to see what things you are drawn to and use them to shape your own perfect...whatever.

So here is my top ten villains:

• Professor Umbridge (from HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX).  Although this list is in random order, she is by and far my favorite, most hated villain.  The first time I read that book, I was sick to my stomach with frustration and helplessness.  She is so vile and manipulative, and she likes to make people BLEED.  I hate her.
• Michael "Goob" Yagoobian (from MEET THE ROBINSONS).  Ah, Goob.  Classic bowler hat/cape/mustache combo, dumb as a box of rocks.  But I can't help but feel for him, because all he wants is a little love.
• Septimus (from STARDUST).  He's cold, calculating, and heartless, killing off his brothers to try and become the next heir to the throne.  But he's so dang cool while he does it.  Plus, he can sword fight while he's dead, with two broken legs no less, which was so grossly hilarious to me.
• Severus Snape (from HARRY POTTER).  Maybe not a villain so much, but I added him because, ooh, I just loved to hate him.  And, he made things rough for Harry despite trying to keep him alive, which is villain-y.
• Prince Charming (from SHREK).  Prince Charming cracks me up.  He is so vain and spoiled, so bumbling, but still able to incite some real trouble.  And when he puts on his play, I almost die laughing every time.  What a jerk.
• Captain Hook (from HOOK). His mind games with Jack make me want to put my fist through the TV.  Run home, Jack! 
• Vector (from DESPICABLE ME).  He's obnoxious and spoiled and has financial backing.  AND, he wears jumpsuits.
• Ari (from MAXIMUM RIDE). Another one of my very favorites.  Max and the other kids have been grafted with bird DNA, which gives them wings.  One of the scientists, Ari's father, finally decides to help them escape from the testing center where they're being tortured, and he leaves Ari behind.  Ari decides that the only way he can get his father's attention is to be turned into an Eraser; he is an eight-year-old boy in a twenty-two-year-old body, with werewolf-like capabilities.  All he wants is his father's approval.  And he hates Max, not just because he's programmed to kill her, but because she never noticed him at the testing center.  He wanted her friendship and didn't get it.  So now, he wants to kill her, and also keep her all for himself.  He's a messy bundle of emotion.  My favorite part, though, is when he follows Max to a store to attack her and sees a woman shopping for a bra.  He's totally grossed out, because he's still an eight-year-old boy on the inside.  So funny.
• The Baroness Rodmilla (from EVER AFTER).  Classic evil-stepmother, but I like that her hatred is fueled by jealousy that her husband loved his daughter more than he loved her.  I like the scene when Danielle is brushing her hair and she shows some of her pain and vulnerability, but I also love that she's ready and willing to throw her own rotten daughter under the bus at the end.
• Modin (from DRAGON'S MILK).  He posed as a trustworthy helper and betrayed in the end.  This man ruined it all for me.  I have a hard time trusting anyone who comes along and offers help in a story and it's ALL HIS FAULT.  My little third grade heart almost couldn't handle treachery of this magnitude.

Looking at my list, I've learned some things:  1) I like my villains to be human, to be motivated by emotions like past heartache or longing for acceptance.  2) I don't watch scary movies with really scary villains because I'm a scaredy-cat.  3) My taste in books and movies is running at an alarmingly kid centric pace these days.  4) I rely on my villains for some comic relief.

So there you go.  Look for my amalgamation of these guys in a bookstore near you sometime in the future.

Who would be on your list, and why?