Huge Revelation that Shouldn't Have Been Huge that was Super Huge

I've been avoiding writing for a long time. Perhaps you've noticed. It's spilled into my blogging. Slightly.

But the other day, I had a revelation that freed me from the shackles of avoidyness that I was kind of confused by, since I wanted to write, and I had things to write, but for some reason, was not writing.

I read a book. It was the third in a trilogy. It was good. It was just fine and I didn't have any problem with it. My thought was, "That was a good ending." It didn't blow my mind, but it didn't disappoint.

And then, I got hooked on that word: Good. It was good. This author is one I consider to be quite talented. I figure this author will continue to be successful, as well they should be. Because they are a good writer. They write good books.

(Are we sick of the word good yet? Is it starting to look like a fake word? Good good good good good good good good whoa I have to stop.)

So, here's what hit me. The book was good. I'll even shake things up and say it was great.

But it wasn't perfect.

And for some reason, when I thought of that, I also thought, The person who wrote it, was just a person.

And I was struck by this notion that I had burdened myself with, that I couldn't write this story that I love so much, I couldn't do it justice, because I'm not perfect. And therefore, I can't get the story perfect.

But guess what? I can make it good. And I can be a good writer. And I can get better every day.

So, once again, time to take off my self-inflicted pressure suit and remember that I might not be perfect, but I can be good. And that's something I can control.

Sagging Middle Syndrome

I have been tromping through this draft with all the grace and delicacy of a grasshopper stuck in tar this week month. It finally occurred to me that what I'm dealing with is Sagging Middle Syndrome.

All writers face this, I know. I don't need to preach to the choir.

I decided to read up on some tips for fixing a sad, saggy middle, and in an effort to internalize the pointers (and avoid my story for *that much* longer), I'm going to share them with you.

Tip #1: When blogging about Sagging Middle Syndrome, don't make jokes about your own saggy stomach. Because everyone else who is blogging about SMS has already made that joke.

Tip #2: Tension. Build it. It's like blowing up a balloon: don't let it go too soon or it will skitter across the room making fart noises and land in a rumpled heap. Or something. Someone make that work. *delegates someone*

Tip #3: This is where your subplots get to take center stage. For just a little while, at least. This is where you change gears and let other bits of the story, besides the main conflict, come out to play.

Tip #4: Raise the stakes. This is kind of like building tension. And kind of not. Make your protag fail. Rain consequences down upon their head! Let relationships form and strengthen, and then make trouble for them.

So now, I beg. Someone who has seen the other side of SMS: what advice can you give us floundering grasshoppers?

What's Really Important

I recently came across an old notebook, the one I was using when I wrote the first draft of my current WIP (the WIP fondly known as "The Story That's Trying to Kill Me") (more on that another day). Along with some utterly embarrassing story snippets that I thought back then were pure gold, I found a list I wrote called "The Important Points of the First Ten Chapters."

The reason I made this list was because I had just realized my story started at the wrong place. I'd read a blog post that suggested making a list to see what really needed to be included and going from there. So, with that brilliant idea, and my equally brilliant and creative list title, I did that.

Guys.

It's been over a year since I made that list, and my beginning is finally (hopefully) where it should be, but on a list of over twenty important points, guess how many are still in the story?

Four. Yes, four little things that have survived the hacking and slashing and ugly weeping of six more drafts. It was amazing to me to see how much my story had changed. And it's not just changing, it's improving. Very encouraging.

It made me think of this post by Natalie Whipple about the malleability of stories. Things might feel so important and key to our plot, but if they're not working out, you know, it's okay. It's okay, guys.

Now. I'm going to chant that to myself as I go back to kneeling in front of my laptop, begging this WIP to cooperate. Malleability. I got this.

And now you'll see how insecure I really am

Today I read a really dumb book. I mean, I don't want to be catty or anything, but I really didn't like it.

I read the blurb and thought, "Okay, well, I think I know what's going to happen, but hopefully there will be some good old plot twists to shake up the norm."

Oh, plot twists, where art thou? It played out exactly how I thought it would.

No surprises. Cliches galore. Contrived plot. Stereotypical characters.

It was torture. TORTURE I TELL YOU.

Now, you may be asking why in the world I kept reading if I didn't enjoy it, so I'll tell you: it's good for my self-esteem.

Yeah, I know, that sounds really catty, but let me explain a little better by telling a story. One day I was trying to revise part of my story but I wasn't feeling it. Everything I did felt wrong and I was writing in big, fat, smelly, ugly circles. I decided it was not my day to write, so maybe I should do some reading, because we all know reading inspires writing. Right? We know this. We do this.

I grabbed the first book on my shelf, which just happened to be Hunger Games. Here's a little advice: If you're feeling crappy about your writing ability, don't read Hunger Games. Just don't. My self-esteem, clinging to the edge by a few shaky fingernails, took a lumbering dive into the abyss and I spent the rest of the day stress-eating and sporadically crying.

I love to read awesome books. But sometimes, I don't mind reading a mediocre book, because I can see where it's not working and what I would change if it was my story. Then, my self-esteem can push the Wild Berry Skittles to the side, scuttle away from the edge, and say, "Hey, I'm not doing such a bad job after all! I'm on track! I'm okay!"

Also, after I read it, I was so fired up that I threw down 1,000 words, BA-CHOW, in no time flat. So next time you're reading a book you're not so hot about, try to see the educational aspect in it.

And let's save the Hunger Games for the more stable days, shallll we?

Lists! Villain Edition!

Who likes to make lists?

I do.

I came across this post yesterday, courtesy of Sierra Godfrey, who I like for her ultra-mad list-making skills.  In the post, Ms. Sokoloff talks about using lists to help unclog your writer's block.  She suggests, for example, making a list of your top ten favorite opening paragraphs, if you're struggling with your beginning.  Or listing your top ten heroes.  You get the idea.

When you have your list, you can analyze the patterns that emerge to see what things you are drawn to and use them to shape your own perfect...whatever.

So here is my top ten villains:

• Professor Umbridge (from HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX).  Although this list is in random order, she is by and far my favorite, most hated villain.  The first time I read that book, I was sick to my stomach with frustration and helplessness.  She is so vile and manipulative, and she likes to make people BLEED.  I hate her.
• Michael "Goob" Yagoobian (from MEET THE ROBINSONS).  Ah, Goob.  Classic bowler hat/cape/mustache combo, dumb as a box of rocks.  But I can't help but feel for him, because all he wants is a little love.
• Septimus (from STARDUST).  He's cold, calculating, and heartless, killing off his brothers to try and become the next heir to the throne.  But he's so dang cool while he does it.  Plus, he can sword fight while he's dead, with two broken legs no less, which was so grossly hilarious to me.
• Severus Snape (from HARRY POTTER).  Maybe not a villain so much, but I added him because, ooh, I just loved to hate him.  And, he made things rough for Harry despite trying to keep him alive, which is villain-y.
• Prince Charming (from SHREK).  Prince Charming cracks me up.  He is so vain and spoiled, so bumbling, but still able to incite some real trouble.  And when he puts on his play, I almost die laughing every time.  What a jerk.
• Captain Hook (from HOOK). His mind games with Jack make me want to put my fist through the TV.  Run home, Jack! 
• Vector (from DESPICABLE ME).  He's obnoxious and spoiled and has financial backing.  AND, he wears jumpsuits.
• Ari (from MAXIMUM RIDE). Another one of my very favorites.  Max and the other kids have been grafted with bird DNA, which gives them wings.  One of the scientists, Ari's father, finally decides to help them escape from the testing center where they're being tortured, and he leaves Ari behind.  Ari decides that the only way he can get his father's attention is to be turned into an Eraser; he is an eight-year-old boy in a twenty-two-year-old body, with werewolf-like capabilities.  All he wants is his father's approval.  And he hates Max, not just because he's programmed to kill her, but because she never noticed him at the testing center.  He wanted her friendship and didn't get it.  So now, he wants to kill her, and also keep her all for himself.  He's a messy bundle of emotion.  My favorite part, though, is when he follows Max to a store to attack her and sees a woman shopping for a bra.  He's totally grossed out, because he's still an eight-year-old boy on the inside.  So funny.
• The Baroness Rodmilla (from EVER AFTER).  Classic evil-stepmother, but I like that her hatred is fueled by jealousy that her husband loved his daughter more than he loved her.  I like the scene when Danielle is brushing her hair and she shows some of her pain and vulnerability, but I also love that she's ready and willing to throw her own rotten daughter under the bus at the end.
• Modin (from DRAGON'S MILK).  He posed as a trustworthy helper and betrayed in the end.  This man ruined it all for me.  I have a hard time trusting anyone who comes along and offers help in a story and it's ALL HIS FAULT.  My little third grade heart almost couldn't handle treachery of this magnitude.

Looking at my list, I've learned some things:  1) I like my villains to be human, to be motivated by emotions like past heartache or longing for acceptance.  2) I don't watch scary movies with really scary villains because I'm a scaredy-cat.  3) My taste in books and movies is running at an alarmingly kid centric pace these days.  4) I rely on my villains for some comic relief.

So there you go.  Look for my amalgamation of these guys in a bookstore near you sometime in the future.

Who would be on your list, and why?